Non-verbal communication, it constantly happening even when you are not saying a word. yet it portrays a different kind of communication to your listener. Simply saying you reflects on emotion state you are in. Bored/ annoyed etc?
Last Saturday, I was on my way to meet my friends at a shopping mall for lunch. While walking, I observed two Chinese men standing near the car park entrance. I noted that both of them were a father and son. They were having some disagreements between themselves. Even to a stranger like me, they appear to be hostile with each other. To me it was obvious that the son was showing displeasure to whatever the father was saying, I could sense that as he was standing with folded arms and having intense eye contact with his father, with a unpleasant expression on his face, listening to his dad ranting on a negative grumpy tone which they could not understand each other point of view. So, it was clear that they were showing unhappiness towards each other.
With all the tension going on, I was curious and decided to be a little nosey and stand near the entrance door to find out what was the disagreement about. The father was ranting about money issues, in regards of life expenses due to the son is leaving to US to further study in one week time. Whereas the son mistook it as nagging and lack of trust in his abilities to take care of himself.
Seeing this, I immediately understood why the disagreement existed even though it was of good intention. Being in a Chinese family myself. i would understand the culture of a Chinese traditional family.
Commonly for Chinese families, where they are more conservative about affections, they do not show them as apparent was the western parents, nagging and bossing their children around is a way of them showing their affections and concerns. Nagging are usually paired with a caring undertone, for example when a concerned mother is nagging their son of not coming home earlier and just staying out late. This could be seemed as scolding and restricting her son’s freedom and being overbearing, however, this could also means that the mother worries about the son being out late and encountering bad people, like druggies and hooligans. Which is in some sense, caring.
The father’s nagging should be viewed as caring and being concerned about the son’s well being, since he is leaving the country and his guidance. However, when paired with his grumpy tone, the son might have misunderstood that the father does not have trust in his son for making such a decision and can not take care of himself abroad.
As miscommunication happens all the time, i would advise them to sit down and discuss about each other’s misunderstanding to have a better relationship.
————————————————————————–Edited version
Non-verbal communication, is constantly happening even when you are not saying a word. Yet it portrays a different kind of communication to your listener. Simply speaking will not reflect on emotional state you are in. However with non verbal communication , it is easier to portray how you actually feel.
Last Saturday, I was on my way to meet my friends at a shopping mall for lunch. While walking, I observed two Chinese men standing near the car park entrance. I noted that both of them were a father and son. They were having some disagreements between themselves. Even to a stranger like me, they appear to be hostile with each other. To me it was obvious that the son was showing displeasure to whatever the father was saying, I could sense that as he was standing with folded arms and having intense eye contact with his father, with a unpleasant expression on his face, listening to his dad ranting on a negative grumpy tone which they could not understand each other point of view. So, it was clear that they were showing unhappiness towards each other.
With all the tension going on, I was curious and decided to be a little nosey and stand near the entrance door to find out what was the disagreement about. The father was ranting about money issues, in regards of life expenses due to the son is leaving to US to further study in one week time. Whereas the son mistook it as nagging and lack of trust in his abilities to take care of himself.
Seeing this, I immediately understood why the disagreement existed even though it was of good intention. Being in a Chinese family myself. I would understand the culture of a Chinese traditional family.
Commonly for Chinese families, where they are more conservative about affections, they do not show them as apparent was the western parents, nagging and bossing their children around is a way of them showing their affections and concerns. Culturally, I noticed that Asians do not show their love physically to their children. This may be why children often misunderstand their parents on nagging or lecturing etc.
Nagging is usually paired with a caring undertone, for example when a concerned mother is nagging at their son of not coming home earlier and just staying out late. This could be seen as scolding, restricting her son’s freedom and being overbearing. However, this could also mean that the mother is worried about her son being out late and encountering bad people, like druggies and hooligans. This actually show the mother’s concern for her son.
The father’s nagging should be viewed as caring and being concerned about the son’s well being, since his son is leaving the country and he wants to share some advice with his son. However, when paired with his grumpy tone, the son might have misunderstood that the father does not have trust in his son for making such a decision and can not take care of himself abroad.
As miscommunication happens all the time, I would advise them to sit down and discuss about each other’s misunderstanding to have a better relationship.
alvinlimjy 